So.
You stole my phone huh? Feel good? Make you feel like a big man huh?

Or maybe you 'know someone' with it... or maybe it just 'stopped working' whilst proudly displaying nothing but THIS for all to see...

Subtle huh?

This is the final (manually triggered) stage of a post-theft deadman's trigger rootkit application:
(Also known as: "you are so fucked".)

I dreamed this up in extreme rage after my last phone got pinched so you better hope it doesnt work. (although you wouldnt be here if it didnt... so yes, think about that.)

To summarize: I have remote root control of said phone
This means _ALL_ your data belongs to me:

• Live location data (hows that battery doing huh?)
• texts (manage to figure out that textsecure app yet?... huh huh huh)
• emails
• wireless passwords
• web passwords

...you get the picture. Think "droiddream meets adore rootkit", running on a custom android built for the purpose... with a thoroughly malicious intent
Had it on wireless networks? I suggest you google for IP MITM attacks and think about what _else_ I have had access to via this device... dont worry, I'll wait while you do so...
Yes. That's right. "_ALL_ your data" means just that.

Is that doubt I see in your eyes? Ok... humour me. Do a factory reset and change the sim (standard practice after pinching a phone...)

While that is in progress, think about this. You just deleted all applications and data... not the operating system. And that, my friend, is where it gets interesting

So try to apply an OTA/RUU update. Oh... that's a shame... I guess the custom hboot just doesnt work without the magical roo sekret handshake... :p

So what now?

You can now do one of four things:

1. Throw it in the bin / river
2. Sell it and hope the buyer doesnt notice the new 'additions' which led you here... (good luck with that)
3. Sell it to me. NO QUESTIONS ASKED.

That's right.
Irrespective of how you got hold of it, I am attached to it and would like it back. I am prepared to offer real monetary reward for it.
Whether you would like payment in bitcoins, wow-gold, paypal-transfer, western-union...or simply _cold_hard_cash_ ... I will pay _you_ a 'ransom' for it.
It has no valuable data or any useful info on it, so dont bother with extortion schemes.

If you are interested, contact me on IRC (#blinkenshell on irc.blinkenshell.org (port 6697 SSL) and drop me (roo) a private message.

There is a webchat interface to IRC... (You can find it HERE). Again, my nick is roo. Click on it down the right-hand side and leave me a message.

If you cant figure out how to do that (or I dont respond quickly enough...), simply email me - roo@blinkenshell.org

Thank-you for your attention, I hope your day just got a little bit brighter.


Kind Regards,
roo